Life Update

I came back to London on January 31st after 14 months of travelling the world and a brief flirtation with settling in Melbourne. I haven’t closed the door on that yet. I have people there. I have people everywhere.

Getting back to London, I found nothing to anchor me. I wrote a few words about that. Caught up with friends, wandered around old neighbourhoods, had the fish and chips I’d been craving for so long.

Beyond catching up with people, I came back to:

• check in with myself after 14 months away
• see if anything related to my old work life appealed/called to me
• deal with a bunch of minor health issues/concerns

Did all that. Nothing seemed to have changed. Bit of reverse culture shock, found London grimmer than when I’d left it.

The rough plan had been to spend a couple of months in London and then head off to Bali. Mostly because it was cheaper, I wouldn’t need to worry about money. I could go for early morning runs along the beach, read, do some writing. Some diving too.

In the meantime I set off on some trips around the UK and Europe to see friends and visit places old and new.

Copenhagen, Brussels, Edinburgh, Prague, Dresden, Berlin, Manchester, Istanbul, Birmingham, Manchester again.

I’ve barely stayed in a single place for more than a week at a time. Staying put in London would’ve meant hotel or Airbnb rates and that’s a lot, at least £600/week for a tiny studio. Hard to justify. The rest of the UK isn’t much cheaper. I wasn’t ready to face going back to my mother’s — that council house in Dagenham. Too many memories. It’s difficult. Protecting my mental health.

During all this running around, Bali fizzled out. Money wasn’t a strong enough reason to go so far away. I wouldn’t be able to pop back whenever I felt like it. It only worked if I really wanted to be there, if I had a plan. I didn’t. I’d just be running away.

Finally I stayed at my mother’s place. And here I am. It’s tough. It’s grim. The area is grimmer. One of the most deprived in all of England, not just London. I’m struggling but sticking it out. I know I have options. But avoiding reactionary decisions.

My small bedroom is crammed with relics from my previous lives. Hardly any space to stand. If I were writing a piece about this I’d title it “The Archaeology of an Identity Crisis.” Finally went through some of the boxes. At first I didn’t want to, it felt like going through the belongings of someone who had died. In a sense it is. But slowly reclaiming some pieces. Slowly integrating the various versions of myself. The green felt fedora I acquired in Sydney in March 2023 which became such a huge part of my adventures seems to work nicely with my jackets and fine shoes. Small steps.

Now it’s been over four months since I got back. So what’s next?

While in Manchester a friend connected me with the founder of a social enterprise. They share people’s stories and I’ve had mine recorded. It will go out in a few months. I’ve offered the founder some help in building a community and making a greater impact, this is very much in startup mode right now. I need to be useful. It’s been a while. I got to be useful last year in my time volunteering at a charity shop in Melbourne and also did some consulting work with a non-profit.

I probably should look into paid work too. My income since April 2022 has been 0. It does make my tax returns easy.

I think I’ll stick around London. I’m tired of moving. It’s been 18 months of living out of a backpack. I may rent a small studio somewhere around Zone 2. I don’t need much, I’ve learned to live very minimally. That’s looking like £1500 a month and causes a little anxiety, watching my savings go down. But then if I keep moving around the same will happen anyway.

Really all I need is somewhere I can run, where there’s a decent place for groceries and some nice coffee shops. It needs to be a bit middle class because I am a snob. Environment is important.

I’m reading a lot more now. I’m writing a lot more now. Most of my adventures and journeying are more inward focused lately. I may even get back to my book.

And there’s still plenty of world left to see. I’ll get to it when I can.