Self-portrait

I did a self-portrait in pencil back in May. I’d been on an open ended trip since December 2022. After months around Southeast Asia I decided to stop for a while in Melbourne, Australia.

After running around for months I needed things to ground me again. Hadn’t drawn anything in a long time so bought a sketch pad and pencil set.

But what to draw?

I used to draw all the time as a child. I drew through my teens too. Sci-fi heroes and when i was 13–14 selling artwork to a shop in London. Sadly all that is now gone, destroyed in a great tempest of teen angst circa 1995.

Did a little in my early twenties but not much since. Here’s Gandalf and an unfinished Saruman. Early 2000s.

Last drawing was a year prior. First in a long time. It was of my best friend. A birthday present.

So I wanted to draw again. But I couldn’t just draw anything. Something had to grab me.

Tried drawing Flinders Street Station, sitting opposite on the steps of St Paul’s Cathedral. 15 minutes in and I was bored.

Walked back to my place in North Melbourne and looked through photos for inspiration. Saw a recent selfie and thought “why not? Why not a self-portrait?” A selfie in pencil.

I’d never done a self-portrait or even thought of doing one before. Self-image issues, particularly earlier on in life.

I was curious to see what would emerge on the page.

Sat down and started with a light F pencil and roughly scaffolded proportions, glancing at the photo on my phone.

Jokingly referred to this outline as Colonel Sanders. If it ended up resembling him more than me I’d just draw a bucket of chicken beneath and be done with it.

Had a running commentary going on my Instagram story feed.

Time to get started properly. I always begin with the eyes and work outwards. If the eyes aren’t right then the whole thing is wrong.

About 30 minutes or so tops a day. This was going to be slow and easy. Contemplative. Reflective. A weeklong project. I was willing to abandon it at any point if it wasn’t going well.

Continuing on with the eyes, filling in eyebrows, nose and spectacles frame.

Extending down to the moustache. Sketching out the mouth and chin area.

Getting the highlights in the eyes right is critical.

It’s incremental. A little at a time. Iterative, going over the same areas and refining.

Ear sketched out. Beard and moustache given more structure. Shading added around the face to add depth.

The hair, moustache, beard, mouth and ear are given more texture.

At this point I was confident it was going well.

I’d been using a light F pencil for outlining and a HB for the detail. Now to switch up to a heavier 2B.

Heavier detailing and shading is added to the hair and beard. Eyebrows and other areas are more sharply defined and accentuated.

Beard is carefully detailed to preserve some white areas for the grey/white hairs and for additional texture and depth.

Even heavier pencilling now. 4B and 5B. Black in parts. Layering can be seen on the beard.

The ear is almost finished.

Almost there. Face is essentially done. The neck and t-shirt line remain.

Done? Almost. The pencil shading on the face is harsh.

Smudging carefully with my fingers, I soften and even out the shading. Preserving highlights, using the eraser lightly and sparingly where needed.

Finished. There is more that could be done but I decided to leave it here.

I’m happy with the result.

It’s me.

Here’s the original reference photo. I would glance at it on my phone early on but once the outline was in place and the eyes were done it was no longer needed. The finished portrait subtly alters the angle of the face to be a little more “camera” facing.

What will I draw next?