Solo Travelling While Brown

I’ve been on the road for a year. Since December 2022.

Londonder. Brown man. Early 40s. Bespectacled and bearded. Well spoken. RP and all that. Indian descent but missed out on the typical background due to weird upbringing.

Sat in a very touristy part of Bali right now. Musing on assumptions and stereotypes I encounter based on those outward characteristics. Particularly in places like this.

An example of what I’m talking about from Singapore back in April.

In the botanical gardens. A trio of middle aged, middle class white Amercians standing next to me. A woman and two men. We’re looking at some fantastical otherworldly plants. I remark “it’s like something from Pandora in Avatar.” We laugh and chat briefly. I move on.

Just a normal encounter, I’m an extrovert, outgoing and chatty. I was described as “bubbly” once.

Bump into the group again a bit later and hear the woman say to one of the men in hushed tones, “I think that muslim man wants to sell you something.”

What? What muslim man? Where?

Oh.

So I steer clear. Until I see them yet again. The woman mouths “no thank you” at me as they walk past.

What?

I’m in t-shirt and shorts with my green felt fedora and trusty day bag Billy (yes, my bag has a name).

What am I trying to sell?

Anyway, why does any of that matter enough for me to write about? Because it’s not an isolated incident. The kind of stereotyping that puts me on edge. I’m suddenly Mr. Stranger Danger. Mr. Tourist Scammer. Self-conscious. Have to check myself on being my usual chatty self.

So I don’t know those people, their life experience, biases and prejudices. I also don’t know the wider societal and cultural context of the place, hadn’t been there long. Maybe there are many green hatted brown men hanging around trying to sell things to tourists?

I only care about how it makes me feel. Happens in touristy places where brown locals are usually the ones working in service and of lower socioeconomic status. Or where there are brown immigrant populations and similar dynamics.

Another example. I was in Lombok (Indonesian island) down by a touristy beach area. Walk into a cafe and a table of white tourists look up. One of them starts to give me their order then realises I don’t work there. Oops. Awkward. Understandable. All the other tourists are white. Brown people work in service.

The touristy part of Bali right now is more of the same. Brown men approaching white tourists trying to sell them things. “Hello boss.”

Ah yes, the usage of “boss.” Something you hear usually from Asian/South Indian men in the service industry in many parts of the world. Addressing male customers as “boss.” Mildly passive aggressive greeting.

It’s reversed too. Common exchange heard here and other places:

“Taxi boss?”

“No thanks, boss” (white man responding).

Here’s where it gets interesting: Why would a white man address me in the same way? “Excuse me, boss” to get past me. Or in response to a question such as “are you waiting for the toilet?”, “no, boss.”

Why am I “boss?”

I don’t think it’s conscious but it is coded. They’re not addressing other white men as “boss.” I got it in the UK too now and then. Generally in parts populated by the “I’m not a racist, but…” types.

I’m not saying these guys are racist but they are unconsciously “othering” people. Or consciously in some cases. More so on holiday, because at home (in the west) there are norms and taboos against such behaviour. Being on holiday is freeing from consequences. If I pulled them up on it then it’s a “you can’t say anything anymore.” Everything is all so “woke.” “What’s your problem, boss?”

Othering bothers me. I don’t want to be othered.

Am I hypersensitive to all this? Of course, but only in places that are triggering. Elsewhere I’m fine.

Like in Ubud, Bali back in March. Haven for digital nomads and those “finding themselves.” Didn’t experience any of that there. Quite happily chatted away with random people. Generally people with a higher level of education, well travelled, greater life experience and engagement in social issues. I avoided the more obvious tourists there.

I’m also fine in group situations in these locales. Day tours and suchlike. I’m automatically marked as a tourist just like everyone else. Seen as safe. Friendly chats abound.

Just as fine when I’ve been in those places as part of a couple. Seen as a tourist on holiday. Being friendly and chatty. Nothing to worry about, just a brown man on holiday with his partner.

Tangentially related anecdote: Coming back from a Sri Lanka trip in 2014, police officer stopped me after getting off the plane at Heathrow. Was sat separately from my partner. Asked questions about where I was going. Home. Where else? White partner joined me and the police officer hurriedly said “thanks, go on” and disappeared. What a turnaround. Not sure if partner being white is relevant. Who knows?

It is a combination of being brown AND solo in certain places and situations.

What about how locals in these places view me? Just another tourist to them. Usually greeted with “Hello, India.” I correct them sometimes. Or they address me warmly as “brother.” Preferential treatment. Affinity.

Now and then after a bit of a chat there’s some weird admiration or hero worship. Here’s a brown man with the autonomy, means and privilege they’re usually used to seeing white people have. They stop trying to sell me things and want to know more about me. Which is all fine. Ended up helping a local man in Lombok set his motorcycle rental business on Google. That was nice.

So what’s the upshot of all this?

I don’t feel comfortable in these tourist-heavy places. I’m down here in this resort area of Bali purely for long runs by the beach. It’s not easy to run around Ubud. But this was a miscalculation.

Being here bothers me. Because I don’t feel I belong and don’t feel comfortable sitting in bars and restaurants around large groups of tourists. They don’t look at me like they look at other tourists.

It’s about feeling safe to be my normal gregarious self. Be able to connect with people. Most of the places I’ve been are fine for that. I’ve made a lot of good friends randomly over the last year. Out in nature. In the streets. In bars.

In January in Wellington, New Zealand. Mount Victoria, large green space in the city. Scene in The Lord of the Rings where Frodo and the hobbits hide from the Black Rider was filmed there. Went to take a look and get some photos. Scottish woman there for the same reason. Started chatting, geeked out and then went on an impromptu hike for a few hours. Still friends almost a year later.

Or talking for hours at a bar with a kiwi guy in Ubud. Or a swiss-chilean woman on a day trip to Nikko from Tokyo.

So many great connections. Keep in touch with them all. This is why I travel, in addition to all the incredible sights, cultures and food.

I’m a traveller. I like other travellers. Open-minded, intelligent, curious people. Oddballs even more so.

I get why tourists are wary in touristy places. There are scammers, ne’er-do-wells and miscreants around. Sometimes more imagined than real. Still, it’s a concern. Safer not to engage with chatty brown men. Then again, those are likely not people I want to connect with anyway. So what am I missing out on? Except for feeling at ease. Not being regarded with suspicion.

These kinds of tourist places are no good for me as a solo brown traveller. Lesson learned. I can keep to myself here and ride out the remaining time. Plan better in future.

It’s just so tiring.