Thank you for sharing Ruth. I hope something positive emerges from an autism and ADHD assessment. At the least some "guide rails" and access to support groups. People have murmured "autistic" at me most of my life and I was on an NHS waiting list for an assessment for a year, but then went on my travels. That aside, I still find resources dealing with autistic masking and burnout have special resonance and can be useful. You may find the same.

All the best, and say hello to your friend! Tell them to drop me a line sometime.